Dear Danae

Dear Danae,

What's the difference between California and Baja California? What are they like? Do you think I should go on vacation there?

Sincerely,

Wondering

Dear Wondering,

Well, Baja CA is probably just another state in CA. They’re probably just like Mexico. They are part of CA because it’s named Baja CA (duh!). They speak English in Baja because in the US we know English. It’s sunny in Baja because in CA it’s always sunny… well, most of the time anyways. They probably wear baggy shorts and those white t-shirts. They may be gangsters. They eat mostly tacos and burritos and tostados, and those round things… I think they’re called taquitos. I probably wouldn’t want to visit there because I don’t really want to wear baggy shorts, and I want to fit in. I would feel like an outcast, like Naomi in the Bible… because she was a widow and she was an outcast. If you’re Mexican you might like visiting Baja California. If you like to wear baggy shorts and white t-shirts and eat beans, then you should go there too!

--Peace Out!

  Danae

Dear Danae,

Can you explain the difference between Mexico and New Mexico?

Sincerely,

Confused

Dear Confused,

Well, New Mexico is probably newer than Mexico. And I think they are both in like America because everything’s in America. Both are also in the United States because the United States are united as one. New Mexico probably has nicer and newer stuff, and Mexico just gets all the leftovers. New Mexico is down by Alaska and Hawaii. Mexico is connected to the United States (because we’re all one, remember). They don’t really know English; they speak Spanish. They have to learn English because it doesn’t come naturally for them. I hope this clears up some of your confusion.

--Peace Out!

  Danae

Dear Danae,

What is a pituitary gland? What does it do? Where, in a person's body, is it?

Sincerely,

Glandularly Challenged

Dear Glandularly Challenged,

The pituitary is in the upper right-hand side of the rib cage. It’s located between the lungs and the bones. That’s the part of the body that tells your lungs to pump. It also tells your heart to breathe, and then your heart sends a memo to the upper brain and that helps you to think. It’s all one process; they’re like sending memos to each other on sticky notes.

If you’re having problems with your pituitary gland, you’ll have trouble breathing because they probably ran out of stickiness on the sticky notes. You should go see a bladder doctor because he can help you and give you Pepto Bismol. You can cure it by not sitting down and you have to take Exlax. Having the pituitary removed is out of the question because it’ll kill you… right out.

Hope you never get pituitary problems because it’ll ruin your life. And remember to always take Exlax.

--Peace Out!

  Danae